Ask Dr Cody
Dear Dr Cody,
We have a battle getting our seven-year-old son to bed each night.
He rarely stays in his own bed. He gravitates to our bedroom at some point most nights, and this is impacting upon our sleep and our ‘parent-time’.
Emily,
Hamlyn Heights
Dear Emily,
Start by ensuring your son’s room has the right conditions for a sleep friendly environment and is a relaxing, distraction-free place.
Make sure your son doesn’t do any stimulating activities in the hour before bed. Definitely no screens or energetic games.
A consistent and calming bedtime routine each night is important. It helps children to unwind and start to prepare their bodies for sleep.
Have the same bedtime routine each night – for example, bath, brush teeth, story time, kiss goodnight, lights out. Ensure a regular, set bedtime, such as 8pm every night.
Try using a ‘worry box’. This technique encourages children to express and let go of their worries by discussing them with you and writing them down.
After writing them down, have your son place his worries in the box, close the lid, and then lock it away. Use a relaxation technique, such as playing calming music, a quick massage, or by having your son listen to a meditation.
If he’s afraid of the dark a nightlight may help.
When he gets up, rather than agreeing to let him sleep in your bed give him an item of yours or a special teddy to take back to his bed with him. Return him back to his bedroom immediately, while remaining quiet and calm and giving him the least amount of attention possible – no eye contact, no talking, and no reprimands.
For some children you will need to do this repeatedly. This will test your patience! If your child calls out, try to ignore his calls no matter how loud they get.
If you respond to his protests, he will be more likely to display the same behaviour the next night.
Ensure you make a point of praising your child for any positive efforts the next morning. Reward charts can be helpful for this.
Good luck Emily – I’m sure you’ll appreciate getting a few extra Zs each night.
* Dr Cody Potter is a clinical psychologist with Chris Mackey and Associates Psychology Services
